Please pay the receptionist on your way out

Holy crap, I think I broke my blogger! How else to explain my absence? I've thought of a couple hundred blogs over the last few weeks, but just haven't had the motivation to put fingertips to keys. The biggest obstacle at the moment is that I have all sorts of nifty stuff to get off my chest or to mull in writing or vent about, but some of the subjects may very well be readers. So that's kind of out. Which leads me to believe I may have to start a super-secret blog that's just for me and a pack of strangers. But gosh, that doesn't sound like a whole heck of a lot of fun.

Let me just do a little stream-o-consciousness for a second so I can at least quiet one of the million voices in my head...

I wonder how Joan Rivers, Kathy Griffin, Don Rickles, and their ilk do it. You may or may not find them funny. The thing that makes them spring to mind is that they are all sharp-tongued comedians. Someone else you know (or at least read) has been gifted/cursed with a pretty fast brain and an even sharper tongue. The result, is that many people find me funny. But some of them also seem to fear me. I'm sure they're afraid they'll be the butt of my humor. Which is SO freaking irritating to me because I really go out of my way to take peoples' feelings, temperament, etc. into consideration. I have wasted YEARS of my life assessing what should be said to or about a person, what they can handle, what they can't, and so on. And on top of that, I try to use an unscientific teasing ratio of 80% self-deprecating, 20% free-for-all.

I like pointing out the absurdities of life and oftentimes that includes people. Well, mostly my coworkers. I tell the truth and I'm blunt. I tease some of my friends. And I wind up receiving a butt load of crap back and I take it. Many times it seems imbalanced towards me -- more hostile than humorous -- but I'm guessing if you took a poll very few people would see it that way.

So I have to wonder, is my view completely distorted? And should I just stop? People have responded positively to my humor for more years than I can count, but if it keeps others at arm's length is it worth it? Or should I just assume that anyone worthy of my friendship would take the time to get to know me and see what's underneath the public persona?

See, that sounds right to me. Which means I shouldn't sweat the other people who just take me at face value.

Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it! I see you're fiddling with your pen and looking at the clock. I'll just let myself out.