Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Smurftastic!

I'm unsure of the quality of this one. I haven't done much today and am desperately trying to get this down on...........well it's not paper. What do we call this?? Anyway, I'm trying to get this stuff down but my friends Jeff and Ruthanne are babbling in the same room with me and I'm having a hell of a time focusing on this.

Not much has happened today, what with the Nor'easter that's blown into town. I went out earlier to Costco and had a heck of a time traversing the streets o' Norfolk thanks to all the flooding.

Fortunately, pictures from the last race I ran were waiting for me in my email and this gem was included:



I guess this would be mildly funnier if the race wasn't on Halloween and the runners were encouraged to wear costumes... But regardless, my slow arse is being chased by a Smurf!! How fantastic is that??

I guess you fine folks don't know of my long-standing love affair with the Smurfs. It's okay, I'm a complex, multifaceted person. I don't expect you to know everything about me. Anyhoo, the Smurfs and I began our lopsided love affair back in the late 70s at The Thoughtfulness Cottage in Middlesex, NJ. At the time, my mother had an obsession with greeting cards and felt the need to visit a (Hallmark, of course) card store at least once a week to stock up on cards that she would ultimately forget to give to anyone. I'm not sure who spotted the Smurfs first -- me, my mother, or my cousin Lori. All I know is that Lori and I wound up in some sort of unspoken competition to collect Smurfs. So every week when my mother would drag me to The Thoughtfulness Cottage, she'd pick up one or two Smurfs for me. And since my grandmother was always with us, there was a good chance I'd get one or two out of her too.

Somehow, I wound up with 180 Smurfs. All shapes, sizes, and various sizes of mushroom houses (if you're not up on Smurf housing, it's ok). The gold mine occurred when my mother gave me about 50 one Easter, each one placed in a separate plastic Easter egg. The collection was so extensive that it was featured in the display case at our local library.

Yes, I realize how embarrassing that is.

My love of the Smurfs continued into the early 80s and extended to their TV show, a cassette tape of their collection of songs substituting most words with "Smurf" or "Smurfy," and my 7th grade Halloween costume. My poor mother banged that thing out the night before Halloween so that I could walk through the halls like a big blue goober. But I loved that costume.

Imagine my chagrin in discovering that I was being chased by one of my favorite things on the planet. Their 50th anniversary was last year and Mom sent me a commemorative Smurf package. Additionally, my good friends Anne and Don came back from Disney World with what was essentially "Drunky Smurf" -- a Smurf with a giant bottle of Champagne.

If only I had turned around. I'd love to know why dude man was dressed like a Smurf. Perhaps he was a kindred spirit. I'm bummed I didn't get the chance to find out, but am THRILLED that I have a picture of me at 40, being chased by a Smurf. :)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Morel of the Story

My bff Lauren and I were visiting a friend of hers in a neighboring college (Lehigh, I guess?) wayyyy back in the Stone Age when we were still in school. Lauren's friend Louise told us this silly little joke and when we got back to our school (Hell University), Lauren relayed it to our dorm mates:

"This mushroom walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, 'I can't serve you, you're a mushroom!' And the mushroom responds, 'But I'm a fun kind of guy!'"


{crickets}



AJ: "You didn't get that joke, did you?"
Lauren: "No, no I didn't. That's why I told it. I wanted to see if they got it."

Herewith, the actual joke:

"This mushroom walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, 'I can't serve you, you're a mushroom!' And the mushroom responds, 'But I'm a FUN GUY!'"

Get it?

Fun guy?

Fungi...fungus...........

The mushroom is a fungus.....

Yeah, it's a knee-slapper all right. And it will FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER bring a smile to my face because it's the only time in the last 20 years that Lauren has been wrong about something and it endeared her to me SO MUCH back then and still does! :)

"But I'm a fun kind of guy!!"

Hahahahahahahaha!!!

Love ya, Laur!!

Monday, November 9, 2009

The Aging of Sally Field

This is probably going to appeal to less than 1% of my readers and the ONE person I know would enjoy it is still stuck with the abacus of internet access and will be unable to watch the videos. Sorry, Moo....

So for the other random person who Googled "Sally Field" earlier and stumbled on my blog, are you the least bit concerned about her appearance in the Boniva commercials? It just struck me the other day -- and hard -- and here's why...

Thanks to an endless loop of syndicated sitcoms during summer days in the 70s and 80s, I was able to develop a couch potato obsession with the TV show, Gidget. To this day, I find myself humming and/or singing the theme song:



Catchy, isn't it? Gidget was an awkward tomboy with an awesome Dad and I just ate up every episode.

Next up for Sally was The Flying Nun, which thanks to the wonder of TV reruns, was seen by me years before I ever saw an episode of Gidget. And frankly, I couldn't tell you what the premise was beyond the fact that her character's name was Sister Bertrille and she could fly thanks to the giant wings of her habit's cornette (yes, I had to look that up). Oh, but check out these special effects!!




When we next saw Sally, she shocked the world by doing a little sexy turn in Smokey and the Bandit and by bedding the film's very hairy man-whore lead, Burt Reynolds, in real life. Scandalous!

This movie is also notable for single-handedly starting the Trans Am and CB radio craze of the late 70s (for more on this, please see Breaker Breaker 1-9).

And now......... Sally got old. She's a constantly meddling, constantly worrying matriarch on Brothers & Sisters and she's doing Boniva commercials. I was hoping to find the current one, where she's sitting on a dock and they've got her in a pair of Chuck Taylors in a desperate attempt to distract us from the fact that she's selling an osteoporosis medicine, but couldn't. But this one'll give you the general idea:



I don't know why it's bugging me, but it is. Who knew I'd start to sense my own mortality from the aging of Sally Field, Sesame Street's 40th birthday last week, and spotting my old Swatch watch in an antique store on Friday. Yes, it's true. How the hell did a Swatch from 1985 become an antique??!!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Chicken Pot Pie and I Don't Care!

And so a fabulous weekend comes to a close. It's a blur of consignment shops, college football, bars (conga lines!), brunch, and good, good friends. There are some moments in time that I know I'm truly blessed and this is one of them.

We ended the weekend with about 12 friends sharing Sunday Dinner together. It's something I've wanted forever and so appreciate finally having. I think we may try to make it into a regular thing -- I hope so...

And, it's time for me to snooze, my friends.

To be continued...................

Saturday, November 7, 2009

And hey, what's up with the swatches?!

Ack. It's another iPhone blog post. I'm so sorry, you guys! But I will say that I'm out with good friends and having a good time, so you're just going to have deal.

Hunter adds, "Big D, little r," relative to a Punnett's square... :)

Friday, November 6, 2009

Sense and Cents-Ability

I'm sleepy after an absolutely great day and had planned on writing about that a little bit, but I just activated AdSense for my page and may babble about that for a minute instead...

A friend asked the other day if I was using it on my blog. I admitted that I had heard of it, but did not have it on here. She encouraged me to check it out, so I did. Essentially, I allow Google to run advertisements on my blog and if people click on the ads, I receive money.

Seems like a no-brainer, right? Except look at my blog now. It's all messy and I feel like I've sold out. So what are your thoughts, dear readers? Part of me feels like I'd be stupid to not receive some financial compensation for all this writing, but another part of me knows that I have the blog because I enjoy it, not for financial gain.

And again, look at it! I'm not crazy about this. What say you?

As an aside, in case she ever reads this, thanks dear friend for a great day. I look forward to fixing up my house and stocking it with the hundreds of treasures you showed me today. And I will never buy those cheesy-ass disposable grocery store salt and pepper shakers again! :)

Thursday, November 5, 2009

185

And.......here we are again at New Belmont, despite all my protestations to the contrary. I was really looking forward to a hangover-free Friday and am going to do my best to accomplish this even though I'm hanging with the kickballers!

I got stumped earlier by an old improv game and must redeem myself! So here we go...

The suggestion is "Navy."

185 seamen walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a beer and the bartender says, "Holy crap, talking semen!!"

OK, they can't all be funny, but once again I've satisfied my blogging obligation on a Thursday night... :)