Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Conspiracy Theory?

Great googly moogly, it's been a month since I've written anything! I can only hope you folks have found other ways to entertain yourselves!

A couple months ago, I floated the idea of buying a Vespa to my friends at work. I'm still thinking about getting one, but in the meantime one of my coworkers has purchased a scooter and they're suddenly EVERYWHERE thanks to the gas prices that are shooting from here..........up. (Sorry, inside joke).

I was tooling down the street in my efficient Honda Civic the other day and saw a scooter. I laughed to myself and thought, "All it took was a swift kick to the wallet to make Americans find a greener form of tranportation." And then the lightbulb went off. Chew on this for a sec: the gas prices keep climbing. The Saudis say it has nothing to do with demand or their pricing, that it's all the refineries and distributors. Americans are finally fed up and finding alternative means of transportation (mass transit, scooters, more efficient cars, biking) in order to save money. Consequently, emissions are starting to decrease. I won't be surprised if there's a report in a couple years stating that there's been a marked decrease in harmful emissions. And here's where it gets interesting: with the decrease in emissions, auto manufacturers won't get harnessed with stringent federal standards. Granted, they're going to have to start making more fuel efficient cars if they want to be competitive, but people who were stupid enough to purchase SUVs that look like Rhode Island with wheels don't really care about the increase in gas prices. So they'll still drive and purchase gas guzzlers. AND all the while, the Bushies, who have ties to distributors and refineries, just keep raking in the dough from the increased gas prices.

In summary: prices climb; Americans become greener; emissions decrease; corporations off the hook; Bush family gets richer. Tomatoes may or may not make a comeback.

Sure, this is all conjecture and I can't back much of it up, but still -- it was an interesting diversion and it gave me something to think about alllll the way to work. Which is only a 10-15 minute drive, bitches! hahahahahahahaha!!! I only have to fill my tank twice a month! Mwahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!!!

No offense. :)

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