Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Dimpled Butter

Stopped by the Farmers (Farmer's? Farmers'? Does one farmer or do multiple farmers possess said market? No, no they don't. So I guess it's just Farmers...) Market on the way home from work and got my first ears of corn this season! As I was attempting to butter my corn-on-the-cob correctly, with one pat of butter and a butter knife, and struggling ever-so, it occurred to me that I could just run that bad boy through the stick of butter on the counter. Ya know why? 'Cause I live alone. 'Cause it's my house and I can do whatever I want. And that got the wheels spinning...

There are some definite benefits to living alone. Granted, some of these can also be the downside of living without a mate. That accountability thing has its benefits. It's as if some sort of balance between the two would be best. There it is again, that nasty word...balance. :)

Good things about living alone:

1. I can pretty much do whatever I damn well please whenever I damn well please without explaining anything to anyone or asking permission. Except for the dog's. Darn dog still owns me, but you get my drift...

2. Huh. I kind of blew my wad (pardon me) on that first one, didn't I? It encompasses nearly everything else:

~running corn through the butter;
~vegging on the couch and watching TV for so long that my skin begins to adhere to the couch fabric;
~wearing whatever (or not wearing whatever) I want as I be-bop through the house aimlessly;
~using the bathroom with the door open -- and not just for #1...;
~talking to myself ad nauseum (this is bad outside though because my neighbor has caught me once or twice. It's somewhat acceptable now, but once I'm in my 70s, they'll put me away for that);
~sleeping in the middle of the bed;
~sleeping on the couch;
~sleeping in someone else's bed;
~sleeping in the car (that one's for Travis);
~dancing naked through the house listening to whatever genre of music I feel like listening to as loudly or softly as I please...
~I own the remote control.

3. This one stands alone: being able to put as much garlic in or on food as I'd like. I'm not kissing anyone, so pile it on!! (This one has its limitations though. In deference to my friends and not wanting to make them puke, I do limit my garlic if I know I'm going to see someone in the near future).

I'm sure there are a million more, but that's all I've got for now. Feel free to tack some on. Oh, and don't forget the flatulence. I can't actually fart in front of another person, so my digestive tract is much more relaxed when I live alone. :)


Jeff Jacobs said...

My mind rejects sleeping in the middle of the bed. I just can't get around it.

AJ said...

Truth be told, I still tend towards one side. But I COULD sleep in the middle if I wanted to. And so can you! :)