Monday, October 1, 2012

Voldemort Drinking Game

I used to think it was coincidental. Seems every time I’m within earshot of Voldemort – which is quite the range considering her propensity to yell nearly every sentence – she brings up one or both of her sons. The ones I helped raise for a few years. The ones she never let me say goodbye to when we split. I was just *poof!* gone from their lives one day. I’ve gotten over it, truly, but I still think it’s a good indication of her selfishness.

Anyhoo, I was just using the copier and heard her arrive in the room. She started telling a FASCINATING story to one of our Admin Assistants that went something like this:

“I was at the school for most of the day Saturday because we had a band competition. B stayed there even later and he called me around 10 o’clock that night and said, ‘What’s for dinner?’ I said, ‘B….I hadn’t planned on making anything for dinner.’ I just figured he’d have some of the Chick-Fil-A sandwiches they had in the concession stand. He told me, ‘OK Mom, don’t worry about it.’

He drove home a little while later and he comes in with 20 burgers and a bunch of Chick-Fil-A sandwiches. He ate most of them by the next morning.”

The poor Admin Assistant threw in a few “Uh-huhs” along the way, but she’s not getting this time back. And now, neither are you.

But I’d like to take this opportunity to thank God, Buddha, the Heavens, the Universe, everything that is Holy, wise, kind, and so very much smarter than I for releasing me from what was surely the stupidest mistake of my life!

CHICK-FIL-A??!!

I may turn this into a drinking game. Every time she mentions her kids out of the blue in front of me, I shall have a drink later that evening in her honor. I will laugh, I will smile, and I will raise my glass high and be thankful for how wonderful my life is now and how I have somehow – inexplicably – landed the most amazing woman as my partner. <3

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