Your mission if you choose to accept it...

As usual, the right message at the right time. I'm stuck in a quagmire of my own choosing. I'm worried for a friend based on intuition and quite possibly, lies. If certain things are true, then I feel like the world's worst friend for not fighting through the crap and standing by her. If they're not true, then I'm right to push forward with my own life, without her. I may never know the answer. And so, all I can do is send a vague "I'm sorry" out to her and the universe. She'll never ask "What for?" and closure will remain elusive.

Onward, marching AJ.

GEMINI (May 20-June 21)
Despite your sense that you can “think things through,” that’s not really the case when it comes to feelings; you simply need to feel, and make the appropriate decisions. We’re inclined, indeed trained, to obsess over how we feel, and most of this involves guilt about how we feel. So let’s consider guilt, which is always rooted in childhood. It always has connections to the remnants of our family of origin, and we underestimate the power that these people, and their ideas, have on us as adults. Make no mistake: What you’re going through right now has something to do with that influence. Guilt is resentment directed against itself. We blame ourselves for our parents’ shortcomings, believing they are flawless, and get in the habit of attacking ourselves. When we take this into adulthood, it can cause significant emotional and relational problems. You may think you can work this out with them, but at this point there is no such thing. Your mission is to work out your life, your feelings, your needs, and your sense of safety with yourself. Be aware of when you are blaming yourself for the problems and shortcomings of your early caregivers, and be aware of when you’re dramatizing this with the people who currently surround you. You know it’s time to push out of your mental anguish and step forth into your full adult creative power. Don’t let the past hold you back.

http://www.chronogram.com/issue/2010/8/Horoscopes/Horoscopes-August-2010

PS -- This message will self-destruct in 30 seconds. :)

Chuck Thursday Niner

Almost forgot my Chucku for this week! Back to therapy today after a 3-week break. The good news is I can barely remember what I've done over the last 3 weeks, but I think I really enjoyed myself. :)

Car, roof, windows, run.
These are the things I dream of.
Cheers to awake fun!

OK, they can't all be good. Or even remotely entertaining. They just have to BE. ;)

I've done two open mics since my grand debut back in May. For the first, I used the wrong material at the wrong time with the wrong people. For the second, I decided I needed to keep practicing and made the poor decision to go up after spending the afternoon drinking in 100 degree temps. I did my old material but dropped half the jokes -- and again it was for a room of people who had no idea they'd be subjected to standup when they sat down in the bar. Needless to say, Mama's feeling a little shaky comedy-wise.

Fortunately, the universe stepped in once again. I finally made an appointment to get my sickly car checked out (thereby taking a step in the right direction) and within a minute or two I was invited to perform at a comedy club for an all-woman show. It's in 2 weeks and will hopefully give me enough time to get my sh*t together.

Comedy horse, I'm climbing back on.

Thanks, universe! And deceased relatives. Even though I (as the Angel of Death) probably sent most of you on your way, I suspect you're pulling some strings for me on a daily basis. Love you!

Love (and clean underwear) Is All You Need

"We're all in this little boat of life together, and none of us are [sic] getting out of it alive." ~ Stephen King.

Have truer words ever been said? Makes you wonder what all the fuss is about, doesn't it?

Have you checked out the comments following any online newspaper articles lately? They are just chock full of hatred and horrific grammar. Oh, there's the occasional sane, level-headed person who tries to inject reason or compassion into the "debate," but he or she is usually drowned out or worse, ripped apart by the majority.

What is everyone so angry about?? Why does it seem like there's so much more hate than there's ever been? Have we just gotten better about allowing people to be themselves, about encouraging them to speak their mind rather than hide their hatred in the shadows? Just because you're louder, doesn't make you right. And you're welcome to think and say what you want, but wouldn't your energy be better spent getting to know the other people in the life boat? Maybe, just maybe, you'd learn something and open up your narrow existence a little bit.

Sigh.

Big sigh.

Prop 8 was ruled unconstitutional today. That means for a brief period of time, those of us who think gay marriage should be legal will be celebrating. But there will be an appeal and more fighting and perhaps the argument will make it up to the Supreme Court and more fighting...

Why on earth does it matter? Most of us will only be on this big blue/green orb for about 80 years. Is this really how you want to spend your time?

About an hour before the Prop 8 announcement, one of my lesbian friends registered shock on Facebook about another decision. An Islamic group has been given permission to build a new mosque approximately 2 blocks from the hole that was once the World Trade Center in NYC. Apparently, a building is currently standing there and was just denied a historic designation which would have spared it. The building has now been cleared for demolition - making way for the mosque. Several other lesbians replied to the news with shock and disgust.

Hang on a second.

As best I can tell, these Islamic New Yorkers were not responsible for the attacks on the World Trade Center and I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that they do not support it. Or even if they DO support it intellectually, unless they participated in the act through deed or financing, they are allowed to think and say whatever they want. Isn't that what we're all about?

How can one oppressed group turn around and deny basic civil liberties to another? What possible sane reason can you propose for denying these people land -- two blocks away from the WTC -- to build a community center and mosque?

And when all is said and done -- who cares?

Is this really how we want to spend our limited time on earth?

I heard an old Beatles song today.

All you need is love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love, love.
Love is all you need.

It's all we needed when we arrived, all we need during our stay, and all we need when we depart.

Tomorrow's a new day. Worry a little less about yourself and your outrage. Spread some love around. You're running out of time. :)

Chuck Thursday Ocho

Chuck just posted a trippy video on fb and it reminded me of two short stories. Let's kill several birds with one stone, shall we? It's just a saying, PeTA, chill out.

The vid:



Story One:

When my dad was a kid there was a stray dog who used to pal around with him and his friends. As my dad told it, when he'd come home from school the dog would always jump up and throw his paws over my dad's shoulder to give him a hug Hello. One afternoon, the dog missed by an inch or two and wound up scooping out my dad's eyeball. Dad didn't freak apparently and just trotted himself on into the house while cupping his still attached eyeball up under its socket in his hand. His mother however, freaked (understandably). Off they went to the doctor, the eyeball was popped back in, his vision wasn't affected, and we always had a way of detecting when he was sleepy -- his eye would start to droop a little bit. (And in a sad twist, my father actually lost his vision in his other eye many years later. But that's another loooooooong story).

Story Two:

Bodhi can be somewhat curious when she wants to and particularly enjoys exploring our world through her sense of smell. She's a hound and sniffs her way through life. A friend and I were taking her for a walk when she was a little over a year old and we came upon a VERY old man and his VERY old dog. They appeared to be in an unspoken race to see who could decay faster. One of the dog's eyes was all dead and shriveled up in its socket and as Anne and I were talking to the old man, Bodhi began sniffing the dead eye. That was bad enough, but I guess she was confused by what she smelled, because she then stuck her tongue onto the eyeball to investigate further. She loves dead things, so I'm guessing she was just trying to figure out what was going on. I like to imagine Bodhi's thought process... "You smell dead. Are you dead? Do you taste dead? Blep." I embarrassingly pulled her away from the poor dog and was relieved to realize that the old man was so nearsighted that he hadn't seen what happened.

Chuck Thursday Seven

CRAP! I almost forgot!! I know you'd never forgive me... I was going to try to squeeze this into a haiku, but I don't have the time or brain strength right now. Went for an organized run Tuesday night and as I was huffing and puffing in my friend Dolores' general direction within the first 200 feet of the race, I said that the only exercise I'd had of late was a surfing lesson and hitting some golf balls.

Dolores asked if I had gotten up on the board and I said No, that I caught a couple waves but rode the board in like a boogie board. :) I then said in my defense that, "Chuck brought a short board and not his long board," to which Dolores asked, "'Chuck Thursday' Chuck?"

And that made me laugh. :)

Two days of heart emos
Saying what we love and 'heart,'
Makes us all happy.

♥

A Pearl by Any Other Name

Hmm...just discovered this is my 300th post. Well that's a shame because I'm not really writing anything -- just offering up a clarification for some of my friends. Our dear friend Voldy flitted past my cube this morning and out of the corner of my eye I spotted a very large, flowy, somewhat loudly patterned blouse on her. It immediately reminded me of late 70s Pearl Bailey and I first laughed and then posted something to that effect on Facebook.

Two of my friends have since asked if she was wearing a hat with a price tag hanging from it, confusing Minnie Pearl for Pearl Bailey, and so I feel I must clarify.

Herewith, Pearl Bailey. She's in the center. Sarah Vaughn and Ella Fitzgerald flank her. I'm saddened that many of you may not know who they are either. Go find out.

And now, Minnie Pearl. I hope you can spot the subtle differences. :)

Chuck Thursday 6!

Heavens, I almost forgot!

Car chugging along
At garage, but no word yet
Bodhi stuck at school??

OK, now that Chuck has stopped reading, guess I'll toss in an extra word or two. FUN day so far! Was on my way in to work to grab a file and head out to east bumblefark for court and my car was hes hes hesitating on acceleration. I had the same problem back in May and got it 'fixed' to the tune (up?) of 800 bucks... So I'm thrilled by the prospect of more repairs.

Actually, I'd just be happy to get the car back. They haven't called yet with the diagnosis, which means they haven't started fixing the problem yet. Which also means someone you know may be SOL when it comes to transportation. Alas, one Bodhi S. T------ is at daycare today and I'm unsure how to get her home. If only I had a side car on the Vespa!

I was also going to head up to a comedy club on the other side of the pond tonight, but I'm guessing that's out as well. I really needed to get back on the proverbial horse after a disastrous appearance at an open mic this past Sunday. I really thought it was just going to be a handful of my friends (based on a past open mic at this location) and that I'd be able to toss out some new stuff to see if it stuck or not. Instead, the place was packed with a bunch of loud, disinterested guys left over from the World Cup final game. They gave me about a minute to make them laugh -- which I didn't -- which wasn't their fault -- and then they returned to what they were doing -- drinking, playing pool, and talking VERY LOUDLY.

So, a trip to an actual comedy club would've been nice tonight. And a return to a few minutes of stuff I know is funny would've been even nicer. For everyone involved. :)

Oh, and in the meantime, we're having computer issues at work and can't get much done. Hence, this blog.

See ya, bye!

Honk If You Love Breathing

My friend Don sent the following story and attached a photo...

Pa. dog trapped in hot car honks to alert owner

MACUNGIE, Pa. (AP) -- A veterinarian said a dog trapped in a car on a 90-degree day in eastern Pennsylvania honked the horn until he was rescued. Nancy Soares said the chocolate Labrador was brought to her Macungie Animal Hospital last month after he had been in the car for about an hour.

She said Max's owner had gone shopping and was unloading packages when she returned but forgot that Max was still in the car. She later heard the horn honking and looked outside several times but saw nothing amiss. Finally, she went outside and saw Max sitting in the driver's seat, honking the horn.

Soares said the owner immediately gave Max cold water to drink and wet him down with towels before rushing him to the clinic.

Soares said Max was very warm and panting heavily but had suffered no serious injuries, only heat exhaustion.

I was going to alter the story to fit the photo below but just decided to leave it as is…

"

Yes, that's my dog, Bodhi. lol. But just for the record, it was taken late in the afternoon on a cool April day... :)

Chuck Thursday 5

'Tis therapy day
Feel like I'm doing it wrong
Are there rules for this??

Chuck Thursday 4

Dang, haven't written anything since Chuck Thursday 3! I was slammin' busy towards the end of last week and then wrecked my back at our kickball tournament on Saturday. Ever since, I've been AJ on the half shell -- on ice every chance I get. Here's this week's Chucku:

Kickball for children?
We adults scoffed, drank, and played
Then injuries came...

My mom's going to shoot me for sharing this, but I must. She's seen the million pics on my facebook page of me and my friends being goofy and she felt compelled to write:

"Honey,

Could you please stop making faces when your picture is taken. You are such a beautiful woman and I know you like to be funny, but I hate to see that beautiful face distorted. I'm just sayin'!!!!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That's a classic. Thanks, Moo! Love you! :)