Rhea Perlman Cast As Palin!

If anything could cause me to blog again, you know it would have to be this headline:

Woody Harrelson to play Steve Schmidt in HBO Adaptation of Game Change

Separated at birth?

Come on, Mrs. Schmidt, it's kinda chuckle-worthy, no? Granted, I'd never want to see who would be cast to portray me if ever there was any interest in my life, so perhaps I'll just shut up now. :)

NaBloPoMo No No

Crap! Guess who fell out early tonight and missed her blog deadline?? Phudge!!

This is the first time since I started participating in NaBloPoMo that I messed up... Well, I never win any of the prizes anyway. ;)

I heart Cogan's!

So many beers, so little time.  Sometimes I wish they wouldn't make us drunk, so we could try many more.  :)

Try to remember

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a tender and callow fellow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

flying
surfing
camping
hiking
love?

Try to remember when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That dreams were kept beside your pillow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That love was an ember about to billow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

NYC
comedy
California
Italy
Machu Picchu
teaching
mentoring
building
love?

Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
Without a hurt the heart is hollow.
Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
The fire of September that made us mellow.
Deep in December, our hearts should remember
And follow.

children
dreams
breath
stars
love?

hurry

I'm not getting this time back

A typical exchange overheard at work. Know that the initiator of the exchange has a slow, monotonous drawl and takes approximately 2.5 times longer than the rest of us to say something.

“Elizabeth, did you place that stock room order already?”

“Yes.”

“Ohhh. DNA needs a bigger notebook for those CDs they keep…”

“I have 5-inch notebooks in the stock room. That’s the biggest they make.”

“Oh, 5-inch is the biggest they make?”

“Yes.”

“See this here -- it’s bulging. Maybe if we split it up into two notebooks.”

“I have 5-inch notebooks in the stock room. That’s as big as they come.”

“Is this 5 inches?”

“Yes.”

“Do we have any of these?”

“Yes. I have 5-inch notebooks in the stock room.”

“Is that the biggest they come?”



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Namaste

Bear with me for a moment, we'll get there...

I was just looking through the 20 catalogs I've received in the last two weeks (it's almost as if Christmas is right around the corner) and came upon a necklace with "Namaste" printed on the pendant.

A word that used to make me think of the end of a yoga session and a final relaxing exhale now makes me chuckle.

According to Wikipedia, "Namaste is a common spoken greeting or salutation originating from India and Nepal. When spoken to another person, it is commonly accompanied by a slight bow made with hands pressed together, palms touching and fingers pointed upwards, in front of the chest."

Additionally, some of the meanings and interpretations include:
* "I honor the Spirit in you which is also in me."
* "I honor the place in you in which the entire Universe dwells, I honor the place in you which is of Love, of Integrity, of Wisdom and of Peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are One."
* "Your spirit and my spirit are ONE."
* "That which is of God in me greets that which is of God in you."
* "The Divinity within me perceives and adores the Divinity within you."

Or as my mother used it one morning last December, "Thank you for my coffee, Indian man at Dunkin' Donuts."

Yeah.

Typically, if my mother's leaving the house for any reason, she's hitting a Dunkin' Donuts drive-through along the way. Fortunately for her, Dunkin' Donuts have littered Southern Jersey much like 7-Elevens and Starbucks have littered the rest of the country. As I'm writing this, I'm sure they're building one on her front lawn.

When I go home at Christmas, we have to make our (her) daily stop at "Dunky Nuts," as she likes to call it.

And she's the one without Alzheimer's.

You can imagine my surprise as I handed payment over to the Indian man at the DD drive-through window, thanked him, and heard from the passenger seat of my car a very chipper, "Namaste!"

I just looked at her.

And then burst out laughing. She explained that she often thanked the DD workers/owners in their language.

Hahahahahahaha!!!

First of all, my mother has a bit of selective racism. She's the woman you can hear in the grocery store huffing and puffing and muttering about Spanish-speaking persons and shooting them a friendly, "If you can't speak the language, go back to your country!" under her breath. Hopefully, under her breath. So for her to claim she's doing anything to accomodate someone from another country is HYSTERICAL.

And last time I checked, "namaste" wasn't really used as the equivalent of "Thank you," "Hello," "Goodbye," "Shalom," or "Aloha." Nor do I think she's bestowing country-specific greetings on anyone else. I want to find an African shop or restaurant when I go home this Christmas to see if she'll start clicking...

Namaste.

With low-fat milk and two Splendas. :)

Beautiful

Today would have been my parents' 42nd wedding anniversary. As I've discussed earlier, it's also the 22nd anniversary of my finally realizing they were knocked up when they got married. :)

But anyway... Today would have been my parents' 42nd wedding anniversary. If they hadn't gotten divorced and my father hadn't remarried and if he hadn't died. Details, details...

I guess it's one of those dates I'll always remember. One of those dates that makes me scramble for a gift idea only to remember no gift needs to be purchased. I really only remember getting them one when I was a kid and it was some god-awful giant white serving dish with a rooster lid. I wonder if that's what pushed my Dad over the edge?

I do have another memory of them that I hold dear. Whenever I hear the following song, it reminds me of them. I can see them dancing to it in our living room and it always warms my heart and brings a tear to my eye.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad. Three is a magical number, even if it's only for a short while. I love you. :)

Please don't let the fact that the album cover accompanying the video looks like Bryan Cranston from Malcolm in the Middle and Breaking Bad detract from the sentiment of this blog post. ;)

Immune System Workout

Anyone who works with me or hangs out with me often enough will hear me utter today's title on occasion. I'm a firm believer in exposing ourselves to germs on a regular basis in order to develop and maintain a healthy immune system. So as my coworkers are opening doorknobs with paper towels and drowning themselves hourly in hand sanitizer, I can be found sharing eating utensils and drinks with people and ingesting dropped food stuffs that were retrieved well beyond the 3-second-rule...

I also firmly believe we're doing the children of America a HUGE disservice by immunizing them against chicken pox and making them wash their hands incessantly with anti-bacterial soaps and hand sanitizers.

And I have found vindication!! And by vindication, I mean at least one other person who agrees with me: Dr. Mary Ruebush, author of Why Dirt Is Good.

When you're done snickering at her last name, have a gander at the following vid from my lovely little Sunday Morning program...

being human

I'm not in a writerly way this evening, so a cheat for your reading pleasure. A friend posted this yesterday and I'd like to share... Thank you, Sara.

"being human"
~naima penniman

I wonder if the sun debates dawn
some mornings
not wanting to rise
out of bed
from under the down-feather horizon

If the sky grows tired
of being everywhere at once
adapting to the mood swings of the weather

If the clouds drift off
trying to hold themselves together
make deals with gravity
to loiter a little longer

I wonder if rain is scared
of falling
if it has trouble letting go
If snowflakes get sick
of being perfect all the time
each one trying to be one-of-a-kind

I wonder if stars wish
upon themselves before they die
if they need to teach their young to shine

I wonder if shadows long
to once feel the sun
if they get lost in the shuffle
not knowing where they’re from

I wonder if sunrise and sunset
respect each other
even though they’ve never met

If volcanoes get stressed
If storms have regrets
If compost believes in life after death

I wonder if breath ever thinks
about suicide
I wonder if the wind just wants to sit
still sometimes
and watch the world pass by

If smoke was born knowing how to rise
If rainbows get shy backstage
not sure if their colors match right

I wonder if lightning sets an alarm clock
to know when to crack
If rivers ever stop
and think of turning back

If streams meet the wrong sea
and their whole lives run offtrack
I wonder if the snow wants to be black

If the soil thinks she’s too dark
If butterflies want to cover up their marks
If rocks are self-conscious of their weight
If mountains are insecure of their strength

I wonder if waves get discouraged
crawling up the sand
only to be pulled back again
to where they began

I wonder if land feels stepped upon
If sand feels insignificant
If trees need to question their lovers
to know where they stand

If branches waver in the crossroads
unsure of which way to grow
If the leaves understand they’re replaceable
and still dance when the wind blows

I wonder where the moon goes when she is hiding
I want to find her there
and watch the ocean
spin from a distance

Listen to her
stir in her sleep

Angel of Death?

I can't remember if I've blogged about my Angel of Death nickname before, but my friends are aware of it as is anyone who saw the video of my stand up routine from last May.

But for the 3 of you who know not of what I speak... Long story short, I have a tendency to bring about the demise of people. There was a period of time during which every time I went home to NJ, one of my relatives died. If I think about someone out of the blue that I haven't thought of in ages, I typically discover they've died in the last few days. My mother and I find it somewhat morbidly amusing. Oh no, wait -- we find it disturbing. That's right.

Up until now, my "powers" have only affected animate beings. But I have to wonder...



As you may or may not be able to read, the building in the picture is being demolished because its proximity to our future light rail train is too dangerous for visitors to the building.

Guess whose therapist is located in said building?

Yup.

I read the accompanying article and there was no mention of relocating the practice.

Whoops.

While I'm prepared to take responsibility for the demise of this building, I'm happy to report I'm not responsible for publishing the caption containing the word "basicaly." :)