Thursday, February 5, 2009

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?

We all know boobs have power. Mary Jo Shively said so many years ago on Designing Women when she was sporting fake breasts and anyone with large enough ones can probably attest to this as well. Boys do all sorts of silly things for girls with big knockers. But I've also discovered something very recently -- my blonde hair has power!

It's quite possibly one of the most ridiculous things I've seen in a while. I've had short hair for about 15 years now. I had short hair during most of my childhood and then grew it out to epic proportions in college. I'm from New Jersey, it was the late 80s/early 90s, and I'm sure you get the idea. I'd like to officially apologize for the hole in the ozone layer created by the copious amounts of Aqua Net I sprayed into the atmosphere.

Back then, my hair seemed like a handicap. I was pre-med and in many science classes. And on the first day of every semester, I saw the way some of the professors looked at me and how they spoke to me. Most of them thought I was a dumb blonde. This wound up being excellent motivation for me -- I did well in school to prove to them that I wasn't stupid.

I started growing my hair out again about 18 months ago. It was pretty damn short and even though I got called "Sir" on more occasions that I can count, I liked my hair for the most part. It required virtually no care and fit into my sometimes-active lifestyle very well. But, I felt like I could use a change. And now that there are a bunch of gray hairs in there with the blondes and browns, I was curious to see how it would grow out.

It's been a royal pain in the patootie, quite frankly. I don't have a head of hair; I have several heads of hair. There's an undercoat in there! And it's all wavy and curls in the wrong direction. I have to blow dry the darn thing every morning and then straighten it. I went from hopping out of the shower and going on my way to spending a good 45 minutes on my hair. Grrr.

But I have to admit that I like it. And now I've noticed an unintended consequence: guys are falling all over themselves to help me with things. I thought I started noticing a change a little bit ago, but didn't think much of it. But today I was running errands and by the time I got to the last place -- Home Depot -- I was sure of it. I had barely walked in the door and was looking at the aisle descriptors to see where to head when a guy who came in the door behind me asked if I needed help. He didn't even work there! Too funny. And then there were just a bunch of other guys along the way today. I'm amused, but I'm also a little annoyed. Maybe I should soak up the attentiveness now, in case I decide to cut my hair off again later...

Boys are stupid. ;)

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