My girlfriend’s father is getting married this Saturday – three days after the Supreme Court rules on two potentially huge marriage equality cases. I’ve got to be honest – if we lose, that ceremony is going to be particularly difficult to sit through. Especially since my girlfriend and I are among the sanest and most committed and healthiest of the attendees. And yet, as of right now, and god-forbid Saturday, we can’t get married. Oh, we can get “married,” but not with all the legal door prizes afforded the straights.
I was thinking about the wedding earlier and decided I’d tell my girlfriend that if they have the tragic bouquet toss, that we should each do everything we can to catch it. And then I thought about what a demeaning tradition that is. Do women still compete with each other to get married? Is catching the bouquet and Mr. Right still such a desperate goal for women? It’s difficult for me to appreciate. And then I wondered if the majority of men even really want to get married. The whole thing still seems so skewed towards women. You don’t see movies about men desperately searching for and catching the right woman.
And then it occurred to me….we created all of this nonsense. We zeroed in on the biology of human reproduction and dictated the rest. If we had just recognized that different people exist and have every right to exist and can form unions any way they please instead of declaring at some point that only a man and woman could have a marriage, none of this would have to be fixed. If fifteen consenting adults want to have a binding contract sharing their money, home, and names, who gives a f*ck? Are we not adults who can figure this stuff out for ourselves? If those same fifteen people want to raise children and the children's welfare is healthy, who gives a f*ck? The Federal government offers incentives for people to marry in an effort to build stability in the family unit. Not for nothing, the divorce statistics would indicate otherwise.
Similarly, if we had treated people fairly from the beginning, there'd be no need for the Voting Rights Act (which took a hit today). SCOTUS struck down a provision of the Voting Rights Act claiming it's no longer necessary because the states that had discriminatory practices in the past have increased the voter diversity -- because of the Voting Rights Act! It's akin to manic depressives not taking their medication anymore when they're manic because they believe they're happy and no longer depressed... And then, they crash into a deeper depression because they're off their meds.
And then there's dear Paula Deen. Anne Rice posted this to her Facebook today:
Let's look beyond the wholly inappropriate use of "crucifixion" and "lynch mob," and focus on the fact that this woman has admittedly used the N-word, doesn't think it's that bad if it isn't said in a "mean" way (please see I'm Not Thinking Bad Thoughts), is very comfortable with jokes centering on Jewish and black people, and wished she could have what amounts to house slaves at her brother's wedding!
And we're supposed to feel sorry for her? SHE DID THIS. The people who came before her did this. Once again, if ALL people historically had been treated fairly and as human beings, none of this would be happening.
SCOTUS, you've dropped the ball on the Voting Rights Act and the white chick who wouldn't have gotten accepted into that college anyway. Please pull yourselves together and DO THE RIGHT THING TOMORROW.
Leave marriage to the church. They can base it on whatever book they want.
My girlfriend and I want to get married and start a family. We’re both productive members of society. We more than hold our own in the brains and ethics department. Isn’t that a good thing? We’ll call it a civil union if that’s what it takes. The religions can trademark Marriage.
These boundaries and bindings were created out of thin air. They are discriminatory.
DO THE RIGHT THING, SCOTUS.