Friday, July 24, 2009

Dancing with the Chicken Slacks

Some of my and my friend's misheard lyrics...

Copacabana: He's so low and dancinaire (He saw Lola standing there). This is one of my earliest misheard lyrics. I decided along the way that 'dancinaire' was a hybrid of 'dancer' and 'debonair.' And this made perfect sense to me until I heard the correct lyrics spoken on a radio station when I was in my late 20s...

Peace of Mind: All I want is to have my piece of pie. My friend Walt and I worked this into an hour-long argument. He was right, of course.

You're So Vain: You had one eye in the middle as you watched yourself go by (You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte). Additionally, my friend Don thought he was singing "clouds in my coffee" incorrectly and that it was actually "clowns in my coffee." I don't know about you, but that would freak me the hell out!

Sometimes When We Touch: At times I'd like to break you, and drive you to your knees; at times I'd like to break through and hold you in my sleeves (...hold you endlessly). This one made my friend/coworker Brian laugh so hard he fell off his lab stool and caused him to listen in and critique all future songs being sung by me at work.

Your Wildest Dreams: In your wild Irish dreams.

My Eyes Adored You: My eyes of Georgia. This one belongs to my ex-girlfriend, Wendy. She went into a record store as a teen and was highly frustrated when the store clerk couldn't find this chart topper for her. It wasn't until she sang it that he finally realized what song she wanted.

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant: Brenda Ranetti , several occurrences (Brenda and Eddie were the popular steadies...) This is one of my faves and I still sing it. Wish it was mine, but it belongs to an old coworker, Jorge.

Twisting the Night Away: He's dancing with the chicken slacks (...chick in slacks).

I'd Really Love to See You Tonight: I'm not talking 'bout no linens (I'm not talking 'bout movin' in). Several coworkers and I were trying to figure out what the heck was being sung here (the preceding was my contribution) and one of them told us the right lyrics. Everything in the universe snapped into place in that moment and I still can't figure out why we couldn't hear the right words before!

You Shook Me All Night Long: You should be all my own.

Our Lips Are Sealed: Honest I See You.

Come On Eileen: You're full of silk crayons... You sing just like a boulder... I'm gonna hump this tune forever. You've grown, so grown... And we can sing just like our fathers... Eileen, I'll hum this tune forever.

I'm Not in Love: [the whispered part] Requesting quiet...requesting quiet. (Big boys don't cry, big boys don't cry).

Without going into detail, pretty much any song by Elton John or Janet Jackson falls into this category. I have no earthly idea what they're singing half the time and just make sounds that sound similar to whatever it is...

I know I have a bunch more but of course can't think of them right now. Feel free to add your own! But please try to stay away from the more obvious "Kiss This Guy," "Big Ol' Chet Had a Light On," or "Bathroom on the Right." I'm looking for some original ones...

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