Monday, December 8, 2008

Why Did the Squirrel Cross the Road?

Can someone please explain to me why squirrels have a death wish? I just don't understand it. Every single solitary time I encounter a squirrel trying to cross the street as I approach in my car, he or she does the same dance: head across the street, see/hear my car and stop, and then just as I pass by -- run into the path of my front tire! It's like they've all decided on that cop-assisted-suicide thing. That's when some fool wants to kill himself but is too chicken to do the deed. So he starts running amok with a gun and when the cops are called and arrive on the scene, he points the gun at a cop so one or several start shooting at him. He gets dead, the cop feels like crap (I'm assuming), and he doesn't have to do it himself.

Is this what the squirrels are doing?? I've managed to successfully avoid them all these years, but I resent this behavior. You see me, you stop -- why don't you stay stopped?? What on earth makes you try to cross the street JUST at the worst possible moment?

I actually ran over the tail of a squirrel when I was on my bike as a child. Four or five of us were racing down the street and the squirrel got caught up in the mix and had no where to go. I managed to avoid running over his body, but snagged his tail as we went by. Maybe this is why we're forever linked. Am I the only one who gets sucked into this sadistic squirrel game? Maybe it's some sort of squirrel gang ritual. Next time it happens, I'm checking for colors or ink.

1 comment:

Robert said...

I have read that small animals don't quite understand the car, and from their perspective, they can see beneath it to the other side. As long as they can see daylight on the other side, they just stop and wait it out. Perhaps once the car gets really close, they freak out and run for the hills.