Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Count Your Blessings Before They Hatch

Driving home after a long, tiring day, I was reflecting on my evening and its inherent and unfortunate drama. More of the same, but I'm feeling growing pains. Not to leave, no not to leave, but to change. Say it with me -- the only thing I can control is how I react to things...

I popped in Stevie's Innervisions and listened to Golden Lady for the 20th time since Sunday. And I couldn't help but smile. This is going to sound horribly narcissistic, but when I heard it at the concert, I didn't think of my crush. I didn't think of past loves. I didn't think of my future love, whoever she may be.

I thought of myself.

And I did so again tonight and I smiled. I can't shake the feeling that someone out there will one day think of me -- or maybe already does -- when she hears that song. The thought of it brings me an immeasurable amount of calm.

And then I thought about all the wonderful, unexpected things that happened to me today. Bert sent me an email containing some words of encouragement and love and song lyrics. (He also posted another beautiful song after yesterday's blog). My dear friends Anne and Don surprised me with a mug they hunted down in Disney World because they knew it would make me laugh and according to Don, "We just wanted you to know we were thinking of you." And then Michelle, my crazy hairdresser, called out of the blue and left a message because she got a feeling that something was up and she should call me. And as usual, her rambling message contained at least one moment that made me laugh out loud, literally.

There were many such moments of laughter and underlying love (not the least of which was Anne, Don, and me crying with laughter over the latest "People of Walmart" photos...) throughout the day.

And so, I wrap up my long and tiring day thusly: thank you -- all of you -- for making my life lighter and happier and warmer. I just told a friend earlier tonight that the beauty of aging is that you come to a point when you get to pick the people you hang out with and how you spend your time. You're less inclined to do things just for the sake of doing things. So for those of you who enrich my life, I thank you. I hope I do the same for you -- at least occasionally! :)

Sweet dreams, all.

4 comments:

lauren said...

beautiful. not narcissistic in any way, just grown up.
Love you.

:)

AJ said...

Thanks, Laur. Love you too... :)

debfigorito said...

Hey AJ -- Don't know when I lost track of Cranial Vault, but coming back on here this morning made me sorry I had. As Lauren said, not narcissistic, just grown up. There's a song I listen to on my run...round about mile 3.2 that keeps me going (it's one of those that will make it to every run list, no matter how many times I hear it). Today, your blog made me think of the song:

(Raise the Spirit by Grant-Lee Philips)

Nothin’ gonna’ break heart your today
Nothin’ gonna’ steal your light away
Even when the skies are turnin’ grey
Ah, you’re gonna’ welcome in the rain

Come on, Come on
Ah let me hear it
Come on, Come on
I’ll raise the spirit

Nothin’ gonna chain you once your free
Haven’t gotta live in misery, no
Even when ya tried out every key
Still another door worth opening, yea

Come on, Come on
Ah let me hear it
Come on, Come on
I’ll raise the spirit

Music in your heart
Comin’ on in waves, love
Thunder in your head is rollin’ away

Nothin’ gonna twist your arm again
Nothin’ gonna’ sway you like the wind, oh
Never gonna’ get under your skin
Nothin’ gonna twist your arm again, no

Come on, Come on
Ah let me hear it
Come on, Come on
I’ll raise the spirit

Come on, Come on
Ah let me hear it
Come on, Come on
I’ll raise the spirit

AJ said...

DLLL!! I have been thinking about you off and on for the last two weeks and have been meaning to check in! Thanks so much for the song, it's great. AND -- YAY for your running!!! :)