There's really no guarantee that I'll keep to the topic, but I'm going to give it a whirl.
First off, the "haunted" or scariest part of this is that I'm writing it on a kickball Thursday night. I should be off at our sponsor bar terrorizing the patrons with my karaoke singing, but I'm home doing laundry instead.
I'm road-tripping tomorrow to NJ and realized yesterday that I hadn't done any laundry and I need to pack and not be completely hungover tomorrow, so...coming home after our game seemed like the wise thing to do. Forty years in and I know my limitations. No, I can't just go for a little bit. No, I can't just have a drink or two. No, I can't keep myself off the karaoke stage....
Herewith, today's entry:
It's absolutely beautiful tonight. There's a full moon, the temperature and smells are fall-like and I know exactly where I'd like to be. You mentioned how you see yourself down the road. I can't remember if you asked or if I just offered, but I admitted that I've never been able to see into my future. It's amazing I've gotten where I am in retrospect. I have no five-year plan. Never have. I talked a good game in high school about what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be, but I was really clueless and flying by the seat of my pants the whole time. Most people who knew me then see a direct line between my stated goal and where I am, but it's still a shock to me. And I know it's not why I was put on the planet.
But back to tonight. I'm haunted by a future I want but might not obtain. I may not see who I'll be or what I'll be, but I can see what I want and who I'd like to be with. I wish we were out in the mountains right now, camping under the full moon. It's a beautiful night for stars and dreams and depth. I can think of no one else I'd rather share it with. And it doesn't really matter if you feel the same way or not. Thank you, my friend, for making me see it at all.