Isn't this exciting? In just 2, maybe 3, worst case scenario -- 6 weeks, we'll know who won the 2012 Presidential Election! Or who stole it, depending on which side of the Crazy Line you fall. Speaking of...for the 5 brain damaged* people who are still somehow undecided about this election, I present to you:
YOU MAY BE AN OBAMA SUPPORTER IF
1. You believe women have a right to ultimately choose what to do with their own bodies.
2. You do not believe in forcing a teenaged girl with special needs who was raped by her grandfather to carry her grandfather's baby for 9 months and deliver said baby -- nor would you regard it as a "miracle from God."
3. You do not believe in tax breaks for corporations whose shareholders and CEOs siphon mass quantities of profit -- that are a result of those tax breaks -- from the corporations and into their pockets rather than letting the money "trickle down" to the workers.
4. You think the government should get out of the marriage business and leave it to the churches or that if the government insists on staying in the marriage business, it should change to civil unions and offer them up to any two consenting adults.
5. You believe the haves should help the have-nots.
6. You believe that your government has helped you along the way by providing you with teachers, law enforcement, emergency services, firefighters, infrastructure, safety regulations, etc.
7. You love the earth and its creatures and want to see them helped, preserved, and not exploited.
8. You believe education is important, in its many forms.
9. You believe if given the opportunity most people will excel and would like to see the initial playing field leveled.
10. You believe every United States citizen over the age of 18 has a right to vote and you would never limit someone's ability to do so.
11. You know that 6 - 4 = 2, no matter how you slice it. If you take from one place, you have to give to the other.
12. You don't lie to get what you want.
13. You think it's ridiculous that healthcare has become prohibitively expensive, with the insurance companies benefitting far more than the consumers.
14. You believe that one of the richest countries in the world must find a way to feed and clothe her citizens, preferably by giving them ways to become self-sufficient.
15. You are not threatened by people based on their color, gender, sexual orientation, or country of origin.
16. You are not threatened by intelligence and encourage it.
17. You do not impose your religious beliefs on others.
18. You are interested in the truth, no matter what it may be.
19. You believe in diplomacy, but recognize that force is sometimes needed. You do not believe in blowing up the rest of the world.
20. You trust that sometimes the President knows more than you do about a given situation and you're ok letting him (her, one day) handle it without criticism -- at least for the first 72 hours.
And if you're an independent, please find someone closest to your beliefs who has a chance of winning. Otherwise you're going to skew this whole thing. ;)
I have to go make my cookies for Obama Claus now!
*No offense to genuinely brain damaged people. If you had a month or a bracelet, I'm sure I'd throw some money your way.