Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Great Diarrhea Incident of 1999

A fellow blogger posted an item about a room covered in dog feces yesterday, and it reminded me of a special day in the beginning of my relationship with Miss Bodhi, my beagle mix.

I had never had a dog on my own, let alone a puppy, and when the chance arose to get one, I phoned my mother and asked her to talk me out of it. BIG MISTAKE. I should have asked her to encourage me to adopt the dog because then perhaps I would have fought her on it and not done so. Now, I love Bodhi with all my heart, but she has put quite the dent in my freedom over the last nine years. I believe that was one of the points my mother raised in our phone conversation -- the one that resulted in my listing all the reasons why I COULD, nay SHOULD, adopt this dog and she was not going to stop me!!


Anyhoo, a good friend whose family had raised several dogs offered to help out and so I adopted The World's Sweetest Puppy. I had a small plastic dog crate when I first got her and placed her in it when I went to work in the morning. I came home at lunch to let her out and then put her back in the crate for my return to work. Things went all right for the first week or two but then my friend Anne, who was helping me watch Bodhi when I was at my second job, went away on a trip. I had run out of dry food for Bodhi at some point but didn't want to leave her in the crate while I went to the store after work. When I had adopted Bodhi, her "Aunt Louise" had given me a couple cans of wet dog food that Anne had advised not giving her because it was bad for her teeth. Thinking it would be okay to give Bodhi some wet food in this emergency situation, I placed half of a can in her bowl. Well she wolfed that right down. Thinking she was just starving, I then gave her an entire large can, bringing the total to one-and-a-half cans of wet dog food.

Things seemed perfectly fine that evening and the next morning. And then I came home at lunch.

As I approached the door, Bodhi was barking like usual, if not more panicked in retrospect. I walked in the door of my teeny tiny apartment and was immediately overcome by a rich stench. Everything seemed normal until I peered into the crate at my adorable puppy.


All I could see in this massive sea of diarrhea were her little white eyeballs. She was COVERED in diarrhea. The interior of her crate was COVERED in diarrhea. It was hanging off the ceiling of the crate like stalactites. I was equally horrified and amused. Bodhi was just horrified. She blinked and barked, barked and blinked. I didn't know what to do with her. I couldn't just open the crate because I'd have a diarrhea-covered dog running around the apartment. I was afraid to jostle the crate too much for fear the poop (which had miraculously stayed on the inside) would start oozing out of the many holes in the crate walls. I finally decided to drag the whole thing into my bathroom, shut the door, and take it from there.

It was easily the most disgusting lunch hour I've ever experienced. I had to hose down the dog and the crate and boil my bath towels. And the apartment smelled lovely for days to come. When Anne returned and I told her about it, she couldn't believe I gave the puppy an entire can of wet dog food. Frankly, I blame her for not warning me. What did I know?? Maybe if she hadn't gone on the trip, this wouldn't have happened. And maybe I wouldn't have tried to pull the puppy's esophagus out of her throat mistaking it for a piece of rawhide on which she was choking... Yes, it's true.

Hmm...maybe this is why she eats my stuff on occasion.

And now, what we've all missed... Your Daily Moment of Schmidt:

Yes, he may have completely backfired on McCain, but damned if The Bullet isn't back at work already. What's it been, two weeks? Bravo, Steve, bravo.

"Meg Whitman May Run for Calif. Governor

Former eBay chief Meg Whitman is mulling a run to replace California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger when he leaves office in two years.

Whitman supported Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign until he dropped out of the race, then joined John McCain’s campaign as a national co-chair. She spoke at this year’s GOP convention, and was mentioned by McCain as a possible Treasury secretary.

The 52-year-old Republican was eBay’s chief executive officer when she stepped down from the post after 10 years at the online shopping company. She remains an eBay director.

New York-born Whitman, who now lives in Atherton, Calif., has hired a Sacramento public relations firm and retained Steve Schmidt, the GOP strategist who ran McCain’s campaign and managed Schwarzenegger’s re-election bid in 2006, the Los Angeles Times reports.

She has never held elected office, but with a net worth of at least $1.4 billion, she could finance her own campaign..."

This is clearly a woman of solid judgement...

Hi Mrs. Schmidt!

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