Monday, November 10, 2008

I Went to an Interview and All I Got Was This Lousy Ulcer!

I was still in a bit of pain this morning and decided (after seeing one friend's warning about a gall bladder problem on myspace -- yes, I get all my medical advice from myspace...) it was time to see a doctor, just in case. Getting in to see my internist on short notice isn't usually an option, so I headed out to the Doc-in-a-Box. The parking lot was packed and I nearly turned around, but I had so many errands to run today that I figured I should just suck it up and get in there. They checked me in at the front desk and before I could sit down in the comfy seats and watch some TV, they whisked me off to the dreaded scale. Fortunately, I had on a jacket which contained my phone, wallet, and keys and that explained the additional 20 pounds that registered on the scale.

Off I went to my exam cell where I knew I'd be sitting TV-less for upwards of an hour. I was prepared and brought a book, at least. My phone rang about half-an-hour in and my work number appeared. I assumed it was my friend Anne checking in on me. Nope, it was our Lab Director. Telling me that they had decided on the new Group Supervisor position in our section and that they had given it friend Anne. Groovy. I think they ultimately made the right decision, but not for the reasons they probably did...

And so I waited some more. Got my blood drawn. Eventually the doc arrived. I told her my symptoms, she scolded me for not coming in on Saturday, and then she palpated my belly. Ow! Well, that's new. That's not really where the pain is. 1-2-3, we're done here: "It's your ulcer [I have some history with a duodenal ulcer] and you have an ovarian cyst." ???? Well, that was news to me!

I have to make a follow-up appointment with my internist and they'll do an ultrasound to confirm. I don't know the first thing about ovarian cysts and I have a lot to do this week, so don't tell me. The doc also gave me a prescription for Prevacid for the ulcer. I had to go to Costco anyway and decided to take a look at their selection of antacids to see if the OTC Prevacid was the same concentration. Well, guess what? There is no OTC Prevacid.

I ran a couple more errands and trotted over to Walgreen's to drop off the scrip. It was then I saw the doctor's name: Farah Khan. Awesome. She wasn't wearing a little bowtie though or singing calypso. [Look it up]. They phoned about an hour later to tell me there was a problem with my insurance. Apparently, the insurance company requires prior authorization from the doctor before they will approve payment for Prevacid. Maybe I should have just gone to the insurance company for the exam... I spoke with the pharmacist and they said it usually took about 24-48 hours before the approval would go through. Now I've had a handful of ulcer attacks since I was 18 and I've never taken any meds for it. I have to assume that by the time they get this medication approved, I WON'T NEED IT ANYMORE!!!!

Breathe, breathe...

Oh! I forgot the best part of the day! When I left the Doc-in-the-Box, I phoned my mother to fill her in. I was driving down a particularly busy road in Virginia Beach when my car just stopped in the middle of the street! I looked and the fuel gauge was below E! No, this can't be happening, I thought. I knew I had half a tank in there when I left this morning. I thought someone must have siphoned it out while I was at the doctor, but that's just insane. Well, turns out it was insane. I turned the car off and started it again and everything was fine. My mother said she thought the car had a vapor lock, which sounded impressive until I asked her what it was and she couldn't explain. :) Love you, Moo.

So here I am. Belly with a slight ache, heart with a slight ache, ego with a moderate dent. All will be fine. All will definitely be fine faster than I get my damn prescription!!

Hello, Mrs. Schmidt. I'm sure you're just loving this, aren't you?? You think I brought this on myself karmically, don't you?? Don't you??? Well, if you think what I've done has brought this on, then I really fear for your son! hahahahaha

Hi Mrs. Schmidt!

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