Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Real Celebrities of Atlanta Rehab

I sometimes over complicate things through no fault of my own. Monica over at 5 Cats Shy tagged me in a meme and I could just fill in my own answers and send it on its way. But I just checked out the topics and some of the questions seemed harder than creating a blog from scratch ("Five favorite singers/groups?" Where would I start? Way too difficult!)

I was just trying to find a pic of Kim from The Real Housewives of Atlanta. There's this one outfit she wears during the "confessional" shoots that exposes her enormous, veined, sagging decolletage. This is train wreck television at its finest and Kim's breasts are the decapitated body by the side of the tracks. Three other housewives have their own significant racks, but there's something particularly obscene and revolting about Kim's. Add to the fact that she has weird plastic Barbie hair and smokes menthols like there's no tomorrow -- all the while thinking she's going to have a country music career -- and I'm just riveted. She claims she's 29 but looks 45, so maybe it's all the smoking. Clearly, no one ever told her about the supposed smoking-makes-your-boobs-sag rumor...

I followed up Housewives with the latest episode of Celebrity Rehab, starring Jeff Conaway (once again) and a brain damaged (seriously, alas) Gary Busey. Several of the Housewives are in a good old fashioned cat fight and referred to the drama as "high school" on several occasions. Then I get to Jeff and Gary who get into an obscenity-laced screaming match over who called "shotgun" for their return trip to the rehab center from an art trip. I'm dead serious. And there was pushing.

It was at this point that I wondered how many of us never really evolve beyond our inner child. I think the greater majority of us can keep him or her quiet for the most part, but when things get down to basics, we're all just Ego. So maybe if we remembered that and saw the inner child in each other more, we'd all get along a lot better and have a lot more fun.

Remember, all we ever really needed to know, we learned in kindergarten:

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don't hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don't take things that aren't yours.

Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life.

Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together.

Be aware of wonder.

Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup -- they all die. So do we.

And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: look.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and sane living.

Think what a better world it would be if we all -- the whole world -- had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

~Robert Fulghum


Hello, Mrs. Schmidt. How are you today, Mrs. Schmidt?

3 comments:

Robert said...

Singers: funny, some may say my favorites can't...but they do it with conviction and passion.
-Jerry Garcia
-Neil Young
-Wayne Coyne (Flaming Lips)

Ego: an unexpected outcome of getting married last month was the immediate and profound sense that the ego was diminished as "we" became the focus. I hope that never goes away.

I also hope to be a kindergartener forever, too. I love playing with the neighborhood kids (and I must say, I toss out any notion of being self conscious and play!). When Alexa next door was planning her 5th birthday she asked, "Bert, will you come to my party next week?" I said "Alexa, I would love to come. Is it ok if I bring Linda with me?" "No," she said, "only kids are coming to my party." One of my prouder moments.

(if you ever want to see a big kid play with reckless abandone - go see the Flaming Lips - Wayne is such a lovable crackpot...their concert is a 5 year old's party with a bigger budget)

Robert said...

Ok, one last Flaming Lips anicdot (living life like a kindergartner makes me think of Wayne):

I went to see the Flaming Lips in a small club in NYC 3 years ago. At the same time, my sister-in-law was dying. I was out of my gourd on LSD (yes, some of us refuse to grow up ;^) & thinking of her - not unusual since so much of the Lips material deals with mortality. She loved life, loved a good party and loved to have fun. I put all notions of sadness behind me and celebrated joyously. She would have really loved being at a Flaming Lips show.

Acinom said...

Ok fine, blow off that tag, but I just tagged you on another that I think is much more up your alley