Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Black & Orange Stray Cats Sittin' on a Fence

Ooooo oooo oooo ooooo...

I won't even get into how many years it took me to figure out that's what the Stray Cats were singing as the first line of "Stray Cat Strut." I got the "...sittin' on a fence" part, but "Black and orange stray cats" eluded me for YEARS.

So embarrassing. Maybe I was distracted since I had one eye in the mirror as I watched myself gavotte.

Bodhi recently befriended a passel of stray cats in the 'hood and being the selfless creatures they are, each time they meet, they leave her with some parting gifts in the form of fleas.

Twelve years of urine leakage, separation anxiety, sour stomach, malignant tumors, benign tumors, and one (1) root canal, she fortunately hadn't seen fit to throw fleas into the mix. Until now.

And for my thirteenth year...

They don't appear to be bothering her, but I'm Frontlining her and staring at her obsessively. Last night there appeared to be quite a few having a party near her chotch (perverts). Now she keeps wondering why I'm talking to it -- as I speak to her in an effort to keep her still, all the while up-close-and-personal with her nether-region, looking for the moving spots. I'm getting more than a little paranoid. I spent 3 minutes trying to pick a freckle off my forearm earlier today.

I made the mistake of discussing the situation with my coworkers, who told me heartwarming stories of tapeworms transmitted by ingested fleas (and discovered hanging from a pet cat's butt), fleas laying eggs in dog beds (I found a flea in Bodhi's fleecy bed yesterday), and all-out flea infestations, requiring mini-vacations while the house in question gets bombed. I'm hoping with a pesticide...

Anyone want some cats?!

Tapeworm Cat Butt Coworker recommended sprinkling moth balls around the yard to keep the cats away. Like nearly every other living being on the planet, cats don't like the smell of moth balls. According to the packaging, I purchased "Old Fashioned Moth Balls" as opposed to those newfangled digital ones, so I'm hoping they'll be extra toxic. "Old Fashioned" probably means "Not Green." Sorry environment, these cats have got to GO.

I called Animal Control to come get them and then discovered that if caught, they'd be taken to a kill shelter. Whoops. I'm kind of torn. Normally I'd be sad to hear such a thing, but dammit, what am I supposed to do? I don't want to keep dousing poor Bodhi in toxic chemicals so these hippie cats can Occupy my 'hood.

If anyone would like to rescue one or all of them, please let me know.

They're going to need some flea treatments.

And for the love of god, please get them spayed/neutered and keep them indoors!

No comments: