Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The Dentist, the Husband, and the Chinese Baby

It was a slow day at work today, folks. I wasn't actually at work very long today. Went with one of the senior examiners to observe her give a talk to some Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners because I'll be helping her out with them from now on. Met some nice people and got a free lunch out of the deal, so a good day overall. Just a somewhat boring one for a blog! So, let's scrape the ol' bottom of the story barrel...

About 3 dentist visits ago (~18 months ago) my self-annointed comic dentist came strolling in to do his exam following the cleaning. He's a goofy, friendly guy who likes to joke around when he's not singing along with oldies tunes he has piped in. We're actually quite similar come to think of it... Anyway, he sees me and says in a somewhat playful manner, "'s that husband of yours, the one with the handlebar mustache?"

I have neither a husband, nor a husband with a handlebar mustache. But I thought to myself, Okay, I'll play your silly little game...and responded, "He's doing just fine, ha ha ha, thanks for asking!"

Then he upped the ante with, "And your Chinese baby, how's she doing?"

Try to throw me, will you? I used to do improv comedy!

"She's just fine, thank you!"
"And she's how old now?"
"Two. She's almost two."
"Where is she?"
"Well, you know what? I don't know where she is! I wonder where I left her...ha ha ha"

At this, he started to look a little puzzled and I began to wonder if we were both kidding around. He followed with, "Has she started questioning her heritage? Because the Feldman's baby that they adopted from China has started asking about her heritage..."

"Well, she's only two, so she's...not....talking........very much........," I trailed off.

And then we both kind of looked at each other sideways as I realized he wasn't kidding and he probably began to question my parenting skills. A slight turn of the head to the right, a slight turn of the head to the left; making eye contact all the while. I had committed myself to this story and damned if I was going to turn around and tell him he had the wrong person! But all I kept thinking on the way home was, I wonder what he's going to say to my handlebar mustachioed husband when he sees him next? What about this poor woman who's never misplaced her Chinese baby?? They're probably calling child protective services!

But if there's one thing I've learned in theater and improv, it's that you commit to a scene and a character no matter what!

Sorry, lady....

My friend Anne's rendering of my imaginary family:

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