Friday, November 16, 2007

Jesus Wants You to Accelerate

I'm going to go ahead and confess ahead of time that I just might be stereotyping. We here in Virginia have an overabundance of personalized license plates. A recent story in our local paper put the percentage of personalized plates at 16% but I'm confident they did not take an accurate sampling, because on any given day it appears that a good 75% of the license plates in the Hampton Roads area are personalized. And of those personalized plates, appoximately 80% of them make some sort of reference to God. The residents of this area have found every conceivable abbreviation for God, Him, praise, blessed, and Jesus. You wouldn't think there would be that many, but you would be sorely mistaken. I see one I've never seen before at least once a day. In addition to being incredibly creative with their religious abbreviations, there's something else I've observed about the praise plate crowd: they like to drive at or below the posted speed limit. Even when it's painfully inappropriate for a given stretch of street. Even when there are miles of cars behind them. Even if God Himself was tailgating them, they would just keep on keepin' on. And so I find myself at least once a day saying out loud to the car in front of me, "Jesus wants you to accelerate." Blasphemy? No, I really don't think so. Because for every car praising Him or His existence that's rolling along at a snail's pace, there are hundreds of cars full of frustrated drivers who are cursing Him and taking His name in vain as a result. So really, Jesus probably does want them to accelerate. If only someone had thought to put that in the Bible. ;)

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

My favorite religious license plate in Hampton Roads: HIZBLUD. I'm sure Jesus appreciates that tacky creation.