I had to testify today and while waiting in the hall to be called, I overheard two pretty amusing stories.
The first involved a traffic stop of a guy who plastered walls for a living. The officers saw the white chunks in his car and thought they might be crack cocaine. They field tested them and they were negative -- because they were chunks of PLASTER. They would have just let him go, but when they searched the name he gave them, it came back to a man who had died while incarcerated. They searched it again and sure enough, dead guy in prison. So they asked the plasterer for his information once again and he gave the same. They then asked if he could explain why the information was coming back to a guy who died in prison. He got quiet for a minute and then exclaimed, "Oh man! He was a good friend of mine -- I didn't know he died!!"
Here's a little hint for ya: if you're going to give false information to the police, why not go for someone WITHOUT A RECORD?? Why would you pick a friend of yours from prison??
The second story was about a guy who lost his wallet. Someone turned it in to the police department and they contacted the owner. The police, being police, ran a check on him and discovered he had a bunch of outstanding warrants. So he showed up at the police department the afternoon before Thanksgiving and they returned his wallet to him. But before he could turn to leave, an officer behind him said, "Please put your arms behind your back; you're under arrest." Of course, he then had to surrender his wallet...